Make a list of people that irritate you.
Business owners want their employees to change. Employees want better customers. Husbands want to change wives, and vice versa. It seems that everyone who has a teenage child wants them to change!
Here’s a harsh reality. You cannot truly change other people. People can try to manipulate and coerce others, but human beings have a choice. Each person can choose to change…..or not.
So what’s a parent, spouse, manager, leader, coach to do? Let me offer you a couple of better questions.
Question #1 “Who must you be to maximize your influence with your husband, wife, customer, employee, teenage son, business partner?”
Question #2 “Who has had the biggest influence in your life, and why did you choose to follow them and allow them to have that influence in your life?”
You likely follow and respect people who truly care; care enough to tell you and others the truth in a kind and direct manner. It is someone who respects you, wants the best for you, and will be there for you even in tough times. It is a person of integrity that stands true to core values and what is right.
That is who you must be to influence others.
Even if you are that person, there will still be some that choose not to follow you. In business, it is best to help them find another place to work and a leader they can respect and follow. A winning team consists of 100% involved and included members.
So, if someone you care about irritates you, initiate a conversation with them. Show up as someone who cares; as a person they can appreciate and respect. Go with big ears, empathy and gentle opinions. Demonstrate great respect and kindness by listening and understanding, and you will likely get kindness in return. Then, in the context of mutual respect and understanding, you can address issues and solve problems by creating great agreements. There is nothing as sweet as harmony and cooperation in a family, church, workplace, and life. Such cooperation is the fruit of effective communication and leadership.