Kind Candor

Webster defines candor as being outspoken, frank, and candid. For me, candor means communicating with transparency and authenticity. But an important question remains: can we practice full candor and be kind?

     There are certainly moments when it’s wise to limit what you share. Timing and appropriateness matter, especially with sensitive information. Yet trust can only grow when we tell the truth. Partial truths mislead. Even technically accurate statements can create false impressions through tone, body language, or selective context. Once people sense a lack of transparency, trust fractures—and rebuilding it is difficult, sometimes impossible.

     Open, honest, transparent communication is the mortar that holds people together. But speaking truthfully to others begins with being truthful with yourself. Personal integrity and a humble, accurate self-assessment are prerequisites for genuine candor. When you deceive yourself, you carry suspicion and mistrust into your relationships, which restricts communication. When you are honest with yourself, you become free to be open and sincere with others. Honest people have nothing to hide.

     Practicing candor also requires freedom from the fear of others’ judgment. What people think of you is truly none of your business. You can care deeply for someone and still release the need to please them. You can choose to be a people server without being a people pleaser. When you serve others respectfully—regardless of how they respond—you create the possibility of becoming a meaningful influence in their lives.

     When you replace the fear of pleasing others with a genuine desire to serve them, you begin listening with fearless understanding. People sense authentic respect and kindness, and their defenses soften. This is powerful. Strong agreements and healthy relationships grow in the rich soil of kind candor and mutual respect.

     Practicing kind candor requires presence, humility, and emotional intelligence. It also requires choosing the right time and context. Open communication can be uncomfortable, but it is essential.

     Though this work takes effort and intention, the rewards are extraordinary. I welcome the opportunity to support you on your journey toward practicing kind candor.