Victim or Owner

It’s a cornerstone of my coaching career; the distinction between OWNER and VICTIM. Understanding this distinction will rock the way you see the world, yourself, and others.

The VICTIM feels that there is nothing he can do to change his life. Victims are typically pessimists. Other victims are sugar coated passive optimists in denial. Victims have lists of reasons that explain why they don’t get results. Excuses.

One common victim excuse is personality. They feel they have been handed a lot in life, that they are who they are, and that they can never change. “It’s just my personality.” In the victim mind, life happens to them. Things are generally not going well, and it’s always someone else’s fault. Blame, resignation, abdication, passivity, cynicism, bitterness, resentment, self-pity and entitlement are all displays of victim thinking and emotion.

In contrast, OWNERS love life and are filled with gratitude. They are true optimists that face challenging reality and choose optimism. They seek and experience the benefit from every circumstance, and view life as a game to be played and won.

Owners don’t obsess with their own significance, rather, they reinvent themselves and embrace change. Problems are puzzles to be solved. Other people are to be loved and respected. Life is a gift to be enjoyed and lived to the fullest. Owners choose their response based on their personal values regardless of how they feel. They know that great feelings come from great actions and great thought.

Owners are trustworthy because what they do what they say they will do. Owners are not too concerned about other’s opinions of them. Their focus is service. Their joy is based in giving and serving, even if others are not pleased. They recognize they have ONE life to live, their own, and are ultimately accountable to only ONE, their Creator.

The choice is yours. Owner or victim?