• Dave Beam

The Power of Unconditional Acceptance


How quickly do you accept others? Do strangers feel welcomed by you? Are you viewed as gracious and kind to most people? Would your children say they feel fully accepted by you? As a manager, would your employees say you accept them just as they are?


Consider this statement;

When I choose to unconditionally accept others as they are, I am empowered to help them change.


This is an amazing counterintuitive principle of effective leadership. A key to helping others improve performance is accepting them as they are, mistakes and all. Here’s why.


For you to truly change, you first need to recognize your weakness and mistakes. You must feel safe enough to drop your ego and admit that you are less than perfect. A great coach knows how to help people see their flaws and weaknesses by providing objective feedback. If your coach fully accepts you as you are, you will trust him to help you change and overcome your weaknesses. You will be less defensive and quicker to admit your mistakes and failures. However, if your coach is distant, uncaring, or critical, you will likely be more guarded and slower to admit your weakness and need to change.

A key to effective coaching is learning to accept people without reservation, and then helping them discover their flaws, weaknesses and mistakes. Providing clear unfiltered feedback is imperative. If they know their coach accepts them completely, they will be more open to the assessment of their performance. The best coaches separate the performance from the person. They combine full unconditional acceptance of the person with an unfiltered clear, direct feedback of the performance and behavior.

How might you improve if you had a coach like that? Who might you help if you were a coach like that? Would you like to have a coach like that, and become a coach like that? Call me.

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