There is what occurs, and there is how it occurs to you, which is your perception. Your perception is your mental processing of the stimuli produced by what occurs. Your perception, not what has occurred, drives your response.
You don’t control the world, and you have a limited influence on what happens. However, you can change your perception of what is happening, and therefore change your feelings and actions.
No one makes you angry, frustrated, upset, or afraid. No one else creates your happiness, security, and confidence. It is your perception of circumstances and other people that makes you angry, frustrated, upset, afraid, or happy, secure, and encouraged. You cannot change what has happened, however, you can change your perception of what has happenned, and consequently change your feelings and response.
You cannot change other people, but your words can influence their perception, and consequently their feelings and actions. Words create and reveal perception. Listen carefully to the words that you use. Listen closely to the words that other people choose to use. You can’t change what has occured, but you can choose the words you use to describe what has occured. Change your words, change your perception, and that will change your response. Your words will also influence the perception of others, and consequently their response.
As a coach, I help people perform better and get better results by changing their perception through conversations and words. I help people understand their current perception by asking bold questions and listening to the words they use to describe what is happening. Then through simple reflection and dialogue, we create a new perception by using new words to describe what is occuring, and that creates new possibilities and outcomes. It is simple, powerful, and profound.