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NICE People Are Selfish

If you consider yourself a nice person, you may be a bit taken back by the title of this article. You need to know my definition of NICE. Consider this. If you are a parent, have you always been NICE to your children? Most parents admit that there are times their children would not consider them NICE. Good parents confront their children, challenge them, and at times discipline them because they care about them. Even though the child may not like their parents at the time of the correction, good parents care more about their child’s welfare than they do about how that child feels about them in that moment. Nothing Inside Cares Enough If I care enough about someone, I will speak the truth clearly to them, even when uncomfortable, to help them improve. If I am overly concerned about how they feel about me, then I will likely hold back and not be clear, or even avoid con


fronting the problem. If I avoid the conversation, I am being selfish. I need to care enough about them to have a clear conversation that resolves the issue. That is true kindness. Are you too NICE to your team? For example, you may have a team member that is tardy. If you truly care for that team member, and for the rest of the team, and for your customers, you will create an agreement with that team member to be on time. If that team member does not honor the agreement, then you meet with that team member again to ask questions, listen, and confront the behavior and re-establish the agreement for being on time. If a leader avoids such issues, he sends a message to the team that high performance and team agreements don't matter. If that becomes the default practice and culture, the better team members will leave, under performers will get worse, and the organization will suffer. Being NICE just doesn't get it done. You don’t have to be rude or mean. You just speak the truth in a clear and kind manner, create a strong agreement, and address the problems quickly. If you are avoiding such conversations because you want to be NICE, you are just being selfish!


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