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Creating a Healthy Relationship with Money

How to you relate to money? It is an interesting and potentially transforming question.

Stop right now, grab a pen and paper, and write down the first ten words that describe your beliefs and feelings about money. Don’t over think it, but just jot down what pops into your head. Be emotional and honest.

What did you write? Here are some common answers. Love. Hate. Fear. Confusion. Want. Dream of more. Lottery winner. Worry. Stress. Happiness. Not enough. People also carry beliefs and slogans in their heads like….

  • Money doesn’t grow on trees

  • Money is the root of all evil

  • Too much money makes people lazy and proud

  • Rich people are snobs

  • Money makes the world go around

  • Money is power

  • Having more money would solve all my problems

Emotions that are often present include fear, excitement, worry, anxiety, greed, covetousness, want, need, depression, happiness, satisfaction, desperation, and stress. You get the picture and likely some of those feelings!

Emotions are mirrors of thought and action. Money cannot and does not create emotion. It is just an inanimate object. Money has no power in your life until you give it power. It is your thoughts and beliefs about money that create your emotional context around money. And your emotional context drives your actions and decisions concerning money which produces your financial results. It is what you think, say, and believe about money that drives your actions, decisions, and behaviors.

This is great news because you can change your beliefs and thoughts about money. Your current financial condition is an outcome of your past actions, decisions, and behavior. Outside factors, such as the economy, minimum wage, the government, the weather, the recession, your family, your employer, your customers, the market conditions, all have an effect, but do not determine your ultimate financial condition. Other people in the same conditions have created very different outcomes. The difference is their beliefs, knowledge, and resulting actions they take that produce different results.

Here is an approach to debunk beliefs and thoughts that are derailing your financial success, and replace them with new healthy beliefs. The fact is that money is likely way too important to you, and dominates your thoughts and feelings. That is the root of the dysfunction. Money is a wonderful servant, but it is a terrible master. The time has come for you to rise up and put money in its place. It is time to trade places. You can now become the master, and money can become the servant. Let’s do it!

This role reversal begins by using your logic to debunk the fear, stress, and dysfunctional attitudes and beliefs that you carry concerning money.

A common belief is that money is evil and unclean. It comes from a misinterpretation of the Bible. The Bible does teach that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. It also speaks of the deceitfulness of riches and states clearly that you cannot serve both God and money. Please note that the problem is not money, but the human heart. It is what someone believes and feels about money that pulls them into difficulty and immoral activities. When money is an ambition, it becomes a task master that extracts a terrible price from its bond slave. Compulsive gamblers, shopaholics, covetous spouses, bitter business partners, hoarders, and feuding families at the reading of a will illustrate the point. But the money merely reflects what is in your heart. But if you truly believe that the money itself is inherently evil, you will push it away from you if you want to be a good person.

The truth is that the LOVE of money is the root of all kinds of evil. Based on that truth, you can replace the lie about money being evil and replace it with a beautiful, true belief about money that will serve you and others well. Follow the logic.

First, replace the word LOVE with SERVE. What we love we serve. We give our full attention and service to what and who we love. So the truth restated is people SERVING money is the root of all kinds of evil. The opposite is also true. Money serving people is the root of all kinds of good. Isn’t that interesting!

What does money as my servant look like? Money does what I tell it to do. I use it, control it, and master it. When I choose to rule money and make it my slave, it no longer tells me what to do. It will no longer dominate my emotions and thoughts, bring me down, and run my life. I refuse to love it and serve it. Rather, I use money, like I use a tool. It now serves me! Money is something that I use, and nothing more. Money is tool I use to help me carry out my good and noble thoughts and aspirations. Money is just a means for me to help others, alleviate suffering, feed the hungry, and help bring comfort and happiness to myself, my family, and others. I skillfully learn how to use money to provide education, clean water, healthy food, and a better place to live to people. If I need some more money to do something good, I find a way to serve others. Service is the way to create value which produces money.

If you will choose to view money as your servant to help you serve other people, you will welcome it into your life. When you are its master, you will have control of your bank account and balance, your receivables, your expenses, and your income. You now rule and direct money. Money does not rule and control you.

If money is merely a tool that is under your control, it is ridiculous to worry about it, be stressed about it, or to even get excited about it. How pumped up and stressed out do you get about a shovel? And it is really only useful when it is flows. You must also realize what it cannot do. It can’t create happiness, mend broken relationships, give people love, true satisfaction, or even real enjoyment. The money that you have is only useful as you master it and learn to use it. So…….

Don’t love and serve money. It is just a tool. When you see it as anything more than that, it becomes a real problem and pain. Instead, learn how to use it and let it serve you and those you love. Let it flow abundantly into your life so it can flow right back out and be used to do lots of good things for you and other people. Don’t love it; use it! And certainly don’t worry and stress about it!

That describes a healthy attitude, mindset, and relationship with money.

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